Duke HRL Introduces New TentEx Program to Address Housing Shortage

In addition to locating DKU students on East Campus and creating new beds in existing dorms, Duke Housing and Residence Life will address the current housing shortage by implementing the new TentEx program, according to a statement released today by the HRL office.

The hallmark of the TentEx system is the expansion of the ever-popular tenting tradition to be year-round and completely mandatory. Students without a housing assignment who still wish to live on campus will be assigned to one of the many open areas on campus, where they will be given a six-by-six plot of land to pitch a tent. Fields used for TentEx will include K-Ville, the LSRC Quad and Abele Quad, which will likely fill up faster than places like the Blue Zone, where students will need to move their tents for football games. According to HRL, this new housing option provides a variety of benefits for students, such as being closer to classrooms and libraries, ensuring each resident has plenty of fresh air, and promoting a better sleep schedule by eliminating the ability to ignore the morning sun.

“Logistically speaking, the transition will be almost effortless,” an HRL representative said in an interview. “Line monitors will be retrained as RAs, which really just involves removing their sirens. Students have provided their own tents in the past so we will likely continue that program which will increase student freedom. We can also continue to charge normal prices to maintain fairness.”

The decision to expand the tents throughout the year was largely based on repeated claims from participants that it’s actually fun and not some ridiculous and sadistic way to distribute basketball tickets. “According to people who make tents, the time you spend in the tent is actually almost more fun than the game and is worth the impact you give to your studies, extracurricular activities, job search, social life, mental health and physical well-being. ”, the representative told us. “Since the joy of tradition comes from the tent itself, we thought it was a great way to spread the joy throughout campus and finally give students the year-round camping experience they crave. We’ve even made it better by removing the distraction of basketball innings, to allow students to fully participate in their tent communities.”

Members of selective housing groups have been especially enthusiastic about the change, with many hailing it as a much-needed breath of new life for their organizations. We spoke to Liv Neerme, a member and advocate for SLG who requested to remain anonymous. “We were all upset when QuadEx took away our section hosting and recruiting ability, and we weren’t sure if our organization would survive the change. With TentEx, although we are no longer classified as cohabitation groups, we can all live together at the Washington Duke Golf Course. All we have to do now is move our tents closer together, and it’ll be just like old times! Also, the tents are bigger than our old rooms at Edens.”

Additional changes have occurred with TentEx, including the introduction of the new FLEEP program in partnership with the Office of Undergraduate Education. The FLEEP program is designed to encourage student-faculty interaction outside of the classroom by requiring a few lucky students to surf on the couch with each of their teachers for up to three weeks, leaving those students without the need for a housing allowance. . Teachers are expected to provide food for their residents in the absence of a meal plan, as well as transportation. To offset these costs, they will receive a full 8% of the rent that students pay. HRL has been promoting the program with posters and banners across campus that read “Get ready to FLY with your teachers!”

According to an inside source, HRL considered a variety of alternative solutions to address the housing shortage before settling on the TentEx program. One discarded concept was to hang hammocks from the Chapel, which was felt to add too much cost to HRL’s Angry God’s Wrath insurance. Another idea was to double the capacity of the rooms by having students share bunk beds, which was torn down because no one knows how to change the height of the beds. Some ideas that were not seriously considered include building a new residence hall, investing in off-campus housing, or ending the practice of admitting too many freshmen each year without regard for potential repercussions.

Monday Monday contacted the president’s office for comment and was told the person in charge was too busy walking her dogs to respond. However, they were kind enough to give us a Choose your own administrative response book authored by the University itself, stating that it would have all the information we needed. After turning to page 68 for ‘issues that have already been resolved’, skip to 112 for ‘housing, landscaping and furniture issues’, then return to page 32 for ‘over-enrollment induced shortages/natural disaster /other’, the official response read: “I fully support the new plan put in place by our wonderful HRL office to address the recent shortage. I’m sure Duke can handle any obstacle, and this over-enrollment/mold outbreak/gas explosion/organized squirrel riot/other is no exception. The quick response to this unprecedented housing event is truly magnificent, and I am proud to have been such an involved part of the process.”

The weekend is over, and Monday Monday is back with a bang.